Legally Lord of the flies
by ImInRogersPants
Summary: So, the boys are all in collage, Ralph thinks he finds the man of his dreams until (Yep, it s very loosley based off of Lord of the Flies and Leagally Blonde, so... read and review? xD)


**So, I honestly don`t know where I`m going with this, but I just HAD to write it. ((ANDREW IS NOT MY CHARACTER he belongs to PheonixBlaze5 and her great story, Forget Me Not, SO GO CHECK THAT OUT!)) **

**Read and Review? c:**

**Oh, and I do suggest if you want to even begin to understand this~ Watch this video~ **

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(Aka Legally Blonde -Ohmigod You Guys)

watch?v=mILEnI5cZmw

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**JUST WATCH IT. Trust me. **

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Maurice sat on the stone edge of the fountain in the middle of the Collage. He jumped up and grinned; this was a very normal thing for the curly haired brunette, out of nowhere. He then burst into song;

"DEAR RALPH: HE'S A LUCKY GUY- I'M, LIKE, GONNA CRY- I GOT TEARS COMING OUT OF MY NOSE! MAD PROPS! HE'S THE CAMPUS CATCH: YOU'RE A PERFECT MATCH,'CAUSE YOU'VE BOTH GOT SUCH GREAT TASTE IN CLOTHES!OF COURSE HE WILL PROPOSE!"

A smaller boy ran out onto the campus, Percival the telephone boy, he grabbed the card that Maurice had been writing in and also started to sing.

"DEAR RALPH HONEY, MAZEL TOV! FUTURE'S TAKING OFF... BRING THAT RING BACK AND SHOW IT TO ME!"

Another boy ran out next to them, it was Percival's best friend Henry.

"FOUR CARATS OF PRINCESS CUT- ARE YOU PSYCHED OR WHAT? I JUST WISH I COULD BE THERE TO SEE..."

The three grinned and chorused together;

"WHEN HE GETS DOWN ON ONE KNEE!"

More littluns came jumping out of the bushes and trees.

"OH. MY. GOD. OMIGOD YOU GUYS, LOOKS LIKE RALPH`S GONNA WIN THE PRIZE! IF THERE EVER WAS A PERFECT COUPLE, THIS ONE YOU GUYS! OH MY GOD! NOW IT'S HAPPENING, OUR OWN HOMECOMING QUEEN? AND KING, FINALLY HE'LL BE TRYING ON A HUGE ENGAGEMENT RING FOR SIZE!OMIGOD YOU GUYS! OMIGOD!"

Jack sat in his room reading a book called Lord of the Flies, when he answered his ringing phone, "Hello, Maurice? What is it? Shut up. Ralph? Shut up! Andrew? Engaged?! Oh. My. God."

He threw his phone across the room, it shattered once it hit the wall.

Maurice collected the card that everyone had signed for Ralph, while Percival handed out candles and Henry wandered around aimlessly.

"OKAY...EVERYBODY SIGN? GOOD. NOW FALL IN LINE, AND WE'LL START THE ENGAGEMENT PARADE."

Percival smiled, "LIGHT CANDLES AND SINGLE FILE. DON'T FORGET TO SMILE. LOSE THE GUM, ROGER, YOU LOOK LIKE THE MAID!"

Roger spat and grumbled, "Sorry."

Henry chuckled, "NOW PREPARE TO SERENADE!"

Simon, who held his love , put his finger to his mouth. "Shh!"

They excitedly ran through the dormitory, trying to sneak to Ralph`s room.

As they bounded up the stairs, they sung again, "OH MY. GOD. OMIGOD YOU GUYS! LOOKS LIKE RALPH'S GONNA WIN THE PRIZE!"

"Shh!"

"IF THERE EVER WAS A PERFECT COUPLE,THIS ONE QUALI—"

"SHH!"

"OMIGOD YOU –"

"SHH! I'M SERIOUS!" Simon held back a yell.

Percival shook his head and started up again, "RALPH AND ANDREW WERE MEANT TO BE!"

Maurice grinned like the Cheshire cat, "NOT ONCE EVER HAS HE HIT ON ME."

Roger rolled his eyes, "Shut up! Shut up! Maurice!"

Simon, skipped forward, "THEY'RE JUST LIKE THAT COUPLE FROM "TITANIC!"

Roger huffed in disappointment,"...Only no one dies."

"OMIGOD –"

Simon held up his lizard as if it was a conducting wand, "-Two, three, four!"

They finally got to Ralph`s dorm, so the boys crowded around his door.

"Son of Delta Nu, soon to be Fiancée, now that a man chose you, your life begins today! Make him a happy home. Waste not, his hard-earned wage. And so he does not roam, strive not to look your age! STILL, IN YOUR HOUR OF NEED, LET IT BE UNDERSTOOD: NO MAN CAN SUPERSEDE OUR SACRED BOND OF Brotherhood! OH MY GOD! OHMIGOD, YOU G—"

Maurice got way too excited, so he bounded In the door. Though, Ralph was not in sight.

Roger gave a light smile, "Guys, he's not here."

Maurice frowned, "WAIT!" He picked up the purple conch that lay on his bed and put it to his ear. "Oh Magic Conch Shell, where is Chief Ralph?"

He listened closely for a second. "He doesn`t have an engagement outfit? He's totally freaking out? He's trapped in the old valley mill…? Oh whoops sorry, the Old Valley Mall?! Omigod, dressing emergency!"

Without haste, the crowd of teenage boys ran outside again, and jumped into a car.

"Don't take the freeway!"

"Hey, wait for me!"

Bill adjusted his glasses "No one should be left alone to dress and to accessorize!"

"Omigod, you guys!"

"omigod

omigod

omigod

omigod

omigod"

They got to the mall and found Ralph in a considerably low amount of time, for a group of most likely flaming homosexual boys that is.

Ralph sighed as he looked at a shirt, "It's almost there but..."

Then, just as the others had been doing all morning, he started to sing softly, and because Ralph can`t sing, it wasn`t the best voice out there.

"This tux needs to seal the deal, Make a grown man kneel, But it can't come right out and say bride, Can`t look like I'm desperate or… Like I'm waiting for it. I gotta leave Andrew his pride. So bride is more implied!

omigod! omigod, you guys!

All this week I've had butterflies!

Every time he looks at me it's totally proposal eyes!

omigod you guys!

So help me dress for my fairytale,

Can't wear something I bought on sale!"

SERENA,

Maurice spun around, "Love is , like, forever.

This is no time to economize

omigod, you guys!"

A random saleswoman waked by, she looked like she was wearing a parachuter outfit. "Excuse me, have you seen this? It just came in. It's perfect for a blonde!"

Ralph gleamed, then looked at it in disgust. "Right. With a half lip stitch on china silk?"

The Parachute-Lady gave a reassuring smile, "Uh-huh!"

Ralph shook his head, "But the thing is, you can't use a half lip stich on china silk. It'll pucker.

And you didn't just get this in because I saw it in last May's Vogue!"

Maurice and the others gasped, and sung in a low whispher, "Omigod, omigod, you guys!"

Ralph gave a sneer, "I'm not about to buy last year's dress at this year's price!

Maurice and the Frat Boys gleamed again, "Ralph saw right through that salesgirl's lies!"

Ralph gave a dismissing wave, "It may be perfect for a blonde, but I'm not that blonde!-"

Then he started to sing in the somewhat awkward Ralph voice, "I may be in love, but I`m not stupid! Lady, I've got eyes!"

Another woman walked out, she was the manager, shewas wearing an all green dress, she looked like Simon`s lizard. "Omigod, Ralph Woods?"

Even the lizard lady started to sing, "Sorry, our mistake. Courtney, take your break! Just ignore her. She hasn't been well. Try this! Latest from Milan! Go on, try it on. I take care of my best clientele, It's a gift from me to Ralph!"

Ralph gleamed in happiness, "omigod, omigod, you guys! This one's perfect and it's just my size! See, dreams really do come true, you never have to compromise. Omigod!"

Maurice and the frat Boy circled around Ralph, who was wearing his new clothes. "omigod, omigod you guys! Let's go home before someone cries! If there ever was a perfect couple this one qualifies! Cause we love you guys!"

Ralph threw his arms around as many of the boys as he could, "No, I love you guys!"

Roger yelped as he was being crushed, "Omigod!"

Ralph ignored Roger and beamed, "Omigod!"

Then, in mixed emotions, they all caroled.

"omigod

You guys!

omigod!"


End file.
